A report 3 months later...

Here I find myself, still 25 lbs. down from where I was in November of 2014, just about 9 months ago.  I am on Whidbey Island, surrounded by hikers, bikers, runners, paddle boarders, kayak-ers, triathletes swimming in lakes and I can get myself do one of these actives or a romp to the gym maybe once a week if I am lucky.  My lack of weight gain, I am afraid, is my muscles shriveling like a popped balloon and I am watching all the tiny little parts of my new body plump up slowly but surely.

Don't worry, it's not too late, this is why I am here, writing!

I am writing because I am on the same playing field as my fellow weight loss dreamers.  I am in this with you all and hope we can draw some strength from one another even from afar.  I dream of the day I again can put on my skinny jeans and flash my muscles in a glimpse of what strength I have.  I want to say, "no thanks" to a sliver of cheese and a glass of wine but I can't.  Just 4 months ago, my self-control was about as strong and obvious as The Incredible Hulk.  Now my self-control has washed off into the Pacific on waves of "what the fuck did I just get myself into".  After this move I am about as vulnerable as being woken, stripped naked, and thrown into the middle of Time Square during spring break.  I am scared shitless, because in a sense, I lost me on the road to Whidbey.


I have moved here to find some peace in my life.  Zvi and I worked on an organic farm in Ireland in 2010 and we fell in love with the countryside, with good food, living on a body of water and here we are in Washington and we have found exactly that.  However, what I failed to realize is that I am a city gal true to the core and I have a big hard layer to strip away of cement loving, hot dog stand eating, hole-in-the-wall bar dwelling, and public transit me.  I moved to this paradise yet I drained out my bank account, blew a kiss goodbye to all my besties, came jobless, to a studio apartment no bigger than my pinkie toe nail furnished with someone else's stuff while all my belongings remain packed in storage, to find out that this is real small town and I don't know what the hell I am doing.  But I made that decision, so here I am and now I need to muster up the courage to recreate my life in a way in which I wish to live it along-side my best friend of 7 years, Zvi. How exciting that I get to do that!

I had found, in Chicago that working out really boosted my self-esteem.  It raised my endorphin levels and really made me a happy girl.  Eating healthy made my cranky cravings go away.  And trying new things at the gym helped bring me courage in ways I didn't expect.  I felt more beautiful inside and out, than ever.  I felt plain ol' slap happy.

I believe that the two most contributing factors are that I found a nice work/life balance and a wonderful community at the gym and through my blog supporters.  I don't currently have that system or those people to motivate to get to the gym.  I have a gym, I have running shoes and all the necessaries to get my ass back to shape.  But I do not have the motivation nor the support and that is so incredibly important.  So if you're feeling unmotivated to get the gym for some reason, know you're not alone.  But also, challenge yourself to find what motivates you and a find a good community.  And please send good vibes to me to, because right now, I am having a hard time and I can't seem to make this work.....yet.