Week Eight: Turn Down for What

No, I am not talking about the Lil' Jon song.

    You can get your listen on here 

I am talking about learning the art of saying no in a world of vices.  This is that mental hurdle I was speaking about in my last blog.

Last week was trying. My days were filled with walking into a kitchen for work and being offered a cake or getting tickets a cocktail party. And of course life brings meeting up with friends for drinks and supper and dinner club with my ladies. I have a good life, how do I say no! And more than that how do I make changes from this life and my friends who all value love and laughter around a good meal or a glass of wine. These are also my values.

Baby steps, that's how.

I've been honest with my friends in asking to eat at restaurants I know I can eat at and recently even been turning down invitations that are too tempting.  I imagine that soon I will be able to have a cheat day here and there where I don't think twice about how many passed hor dourves I have.  But in my current situation, that extra square of dark chocolate or one piece of bread is past my limit.  I recently heard that after a year or so of regular hard working diet & exercise, your metabolism can be more lax about what you eat.  But I have a long way to go.  So, slowly I will go chipping away the pounds and I will be very selective on which vices I choose to allow in my life, depending on which make me happiest.

A large part of my lifestyle change is to start replacing all those dinners with physical activities I can partake in with friends.  I imagine I can replace a morning brunch with cocktails with a morning run and a healthy brunch to follow.  Evenings at bar can be exchanged for dance classes or just hitting the dance floor.  And Saturday's on the couch with Zvi might be replaced with hikes.  I still have yet to find such activities. And it's hard to know who I can ask to take a hike or go for a run.  But with baby steps and understanding for how challenging this is for me, I will be able to balance putting calories in my body with activities that also take calories out of my body.  And of course my disciplined days and my new more active lifestyle will still be rewarded with dinners around love and laughter.  I am a chef after all and there is no place better to smile with friends than around a good meal.  Though this time I might turn down for what, for pasta!

Week Eight: 185 pounds

Note: I had a hard week.  I worked hard and gained a pound.  I chalked it up to gaining muscle and told myself that is good.  Lean body weight is great!  After speaking with a coach at the gym, I have implemented juicing.  Not instead of meals, but in addition and am now having smaller meals.  I am using the fiber to boost my metabolism and filling my stomach and my cravings with fruits and vegetables.

Week Seven: I won

I have officially won what it was that I was looking for with this challenge.  I thought it was $50,000, a size 6, and maybe a 50 pound weight loss.  But I didn't know exactly what I was really in search of until I found it. What I found was that it is more important to have a healthy body than to lose weight. I hear all your "Amen Sista's" out there, but have you really achieved that, have you internalized that?  I thought I had, but so many days I stood unhappy in front of a mirror.

I have gotten many props for braving the honesty of my bad self-image to the world through my blog and publicly discussing my weight. So many of us are trying to reach a number on the scale or get that "summer body", as magazines suggest.  I have spent the last 14 years of my life or longer, living an unhealthy lifestyle in a world hoping that if I just stop eating bread I will look like Beyoncé.  I live in this world where women are judged by the bodies they have and images in media dictate what healthy and sexy are.  And ridiculous diet fads create unrealistic health goals. So it hasn't been until now that I really truly have been able to internalize and value how healthy equals beautiful.  


These women are beautiful.  They are glowing, smiling, and all different shapes and sizes.  If you take away anything you have ever learned (ever!) and ask your body what fitness is, I don't think it would say size 4, 120 pounds.  Your body has no idea what Kate Moss looks like and does not care, honestly.  Your body has no idea what 7 for All Mankind skinny jeans are.  And your body does not know what a size 4 is.  

But your body does know that cardio workouts improve your heart health and  your metabolism. Your body understands that weight training increases bone density and promotes fat-free body mass.  Let's stop right here, "promotes fat-free body mass". Those muscles mean you can step off the scale because the number on the scale does not necessarily equate to the amount of fat on your body, so it's a false indicator.  OK, where were we?  Your body understands that you combat cardiovascular disease when eating a healthy diet rich in fruits and vegetables. Your body also understands that you have higher energy when you eat well.  

In the past month, my skin is pinker.  My eyes are whiter.  The dark circles are going away. The rash on my cheeks is gone and any acne is decreasing.  My physique is leaner and very muscular.  That scary belly weight that is dangerous is decreasing.  My hair and nails are growing faster than ever.  And my stress levels are decreasing.  And I still weighed in this week at 184 pounds.  However, this healthy, younger feeling person really does not care about that weight because, again, it does not dictate how healthy I am or how my image is perceived.  Of course I am no righteous virtue who believes there is no place where image has no importance.  I want my husband to be physically attracted to me.  I want to fit into that adorable dress.  But as healthy and happy are the most important features in our lives, I can now see that I am beautiful when I am healthy.  

It has taken three pieces to the puzzle to get to really value this fitness challenge, or should I say lifestyle change.  

Part 1: Jump mental hurdle

It's so hard to get out of the house and into the gym or pool or running sneakers.  It's also hard not to want to pizza, burgers, and Italian beef back-to-back.  But I had to try to get there and do that and now it is my life.  Once I got over the hurdle, it felt bad on the days when I couldn't get to the gym and now my body requests fruits and veggies and turkey burgers.  When it wants a cheat, like a bagel, I give that to my body because it's telling me I need some extra calories for energy or that I have been so good I deserve a treat.

Part 2: Get over the physical barrier

You know when you get to mile 2 and you think, shit, I can't keep going, I am just going to turn around, my and playlist isn't good today anyway (or some irrelevant excuse like that)? Or when you be like "I can't do a push-up without my knees, I am a girl".  And that time in gym class when you hung on the bottom of the ropes looking up with no hope to climb one notch.  None of that is actually true.  It's a mental hurdle. It is your scared, lazy ego that has no idea of what you're physically capable of, so keep going and you will get to mile 4.

And this is the best part yet!

Part 3:  Improve Emotional Relationship to My Body

Once I got over the mental & physical hurdles, I could start to hear my body talk.  When I had a good workout, my body told me I was strong.  When I was hungry, my body told me to eat.  If I needed to treat myself to a glass of wine and relax, my body told me to relax and enjoy.  I could no longer beat myself up for a little cheat here and there, because it was what I needed in order to get back to the gym for a fun and successful workout.  More importantly those treats became the exception and not the rule.  And once I felt like my weight was not really my target goal any longer, I felt freed from the negative relationship I had with what my body was supposed to be.  The "nicer" appearance was a side effect of working to be healthier and happier.

Right now I am just over half way through this competition.  My head is in the game and clearer than ever. I am feeling now that I have a sustainable life change in place.  I definitely have a way to go to get to my personal best in terms of healthy.  But that personal best is really just a way for me to have fun and keep myself challenged.  

I know that I will get to the gym and make good choices eating healthy.  And because I will go to the gym, I will prove myself wrong when my ego tells me "I can't" because I will go that extra mile.  And because I really know the effects on my health and my life with this lifestyle, I have realized that this is not about losing 50 pounds at all but about staying active and fit and enjoying life.  And with that I will be more loving and happy and there within lies the beauty.  

So ladies and gents, though I have only achieved 50% of this challenge yet.  I have already won.  

Week Six: Over Promise & Under Deliver

This is the story of my life, over committing myself to my work, mostly, then to my social life, and currently as we all know in my exercise regimen. This time the promise is to myself to eliminate the bad carbs, bad fats, and do everything perfectly so that I can get that 4.5 lb weekly weight loss wrapped up neatly in a box with a bow and gifted to me on Wednesday evenings in the form of numbers on a scale.  Well reality hit and life happens.  Life is kicking me in the butt and that's OK.

 Here's what I know about myself and how I plan to gain back some control:

1.  I have no self control.  NONE.

• For the next eight weeks I will not allow myself into settings where I could be lured to eat or drink anything not within my regimen.   Sorry friends, no mas fiesta for Lis; no goodies, beverages, or dinners out for me for eight weeks.  I'm in a crunch here.

2. Work will always inch into my personal life.  

• FIND BALANCE.  PERIOD.

3. When I am tired, I am less inclined to hit the gym.

• I have to wake up by 5:30 am.  I have a 9:30 bed time right now that is non-negotiable.

4.  I slip up when I lack organization.  

• I need to leave my Sundays free for me to shop, cook, and clean.

The hardest thing about all of this, is that with my lack in ability to move forward with any weight loss, I have only let myself down.  When I slip up and drink or eat pizza, the promise to myself for a healthier life is compromised.  I only have two months where I need to be fairly disciplined.  Of course this goes with allowing some treats, but there is a difference in rewarding yourself and falling off the wagon completely.   Time to get some checks and balances in place and to START KICKING ASS!

Week 6: 188 lbs.

Also, try this healthy & delicious Smoked Turkey soup I made for myself this week from Food and wine Magazine. You can find the recipe here.

Week Five: The "F" Word

FORTY POUNDS

FORTY POUNDS

FORTY POUNDS

FORTY POUNDS

FORTY POUNDS

This "f" word lost forty pounds.  I am speaking of one of the competition.  Supposedly a man of 220 pounds has lost 40 pounds.  This would bring a person to 19% body fat loss.  And me at my frustrating plateau of 189 pounds am at a mere 6% weight loss.  Not only can I never catch up to that, I never want to lose 10 pounds per week for sake of my health and the fact that I would end up a shriveled 69 pounds by the end of this challenge.  So what the flip is that?!?

I can only chalk it up to one this.  It must be false information.

Though I have some catching up to do, I have the "L" and the " R" word in my vocabulary this week and I have not forgotten to continue out of love and respect for my body.  Instead of flipping out, I went to Sports Authority, grabbed the best heart rate monitor they have, came home, pulled out my Paleo cookbooks and decided to take action.  I am now implementing a diet change and am going to work out in the fat burning zone to see if I can move the needle.  

Week 5: 189.2

I have 13 weeks of this fitness challenge.  So I leave you with....

13 letter words starting with F

facetiousness, faithlessness, falsification, familiarities, familiarizing, familisteries, fantastically, fantasticness, fatiguability, faultlessness, favorableness, feasibilities, featherbedded, featherstitch, featherweight, feinschmecker, felicitations, fellowshiping, feloniousness, fermentations, ferociousness, ferromagnetic, ferrumination, fertilization, fibrillations, fibrinogenous, fibrospongiae, fibrovascular, fictionalized, fictionalizes, filibusterers, filibustering, filibusterism, filipendulous, fillibustered, filmographies, filterability, finalizations, fingerprinted, flabbergasted, flagellations, flamethrowers, flashforwards, flirtatiously, floccillation, floodlighting, floricultural, florification, flounderingly, flourishingly, fluctuability, fluctuational, fluophosphate, fluoridations, fluorinations, fluorocarbons, fluoroscopies, fluoroscopist, foolhardihood, foolhardiness, foreconscious, foredetermine, foreknowingly, foreknowledge, forementioned, foreordaining, forepossessed, foreshadowing, foreshortened, foresightedly, forgetfulness, formalization, formidability, formularistic, formulization, fornicatrices, fortification, fortitudinous, fortunateness, fortuneteller, forwardsearch, fossiliferous, fossilization, fountainheads, fractionalize, fragmentarily, fragmentation, franchisement, frankalmoigne, frankensteins, freeheartedly, frequentation, frequentative, frighteningly, frightfulness, frontispieces, fruitlessness, frumentaceous, frumentarious, frustratingly, fugaciousness, funambulation, funambulatory, functionalist, functionality, functionalize, functionaries, fundamentally, futurologists,

Week Four: Fallen off the Wagon

Well, maybe I jumped.  I am not one to turn down a glass of wine or good food and after 3 weeks, I had lost a bit of my soul being so militant.  Zvi is moving to Seattle next week for a program and I needed to celebrate and feed my soul.  So as it goes, I indulged a bit at a wonderful dinner party with great food & friends.  

The truth is, I had hit a bit of a wall this past week and only lost half a pound after so much hard work.  I was exhausted, under-nourished, and picking unnecessary arguments as you do when you're "hangry".  I could feel every bulging new muscle tense up.  In general, I felt "hard".   So I jumped off the wagon into a glass of Pinot Noir.  I feel much more relaxed.

Taking two days off from the gym was also a good decision.  At Zvi's going away party last night I danced my tail feathers off.  I got back into the gym today and I felt better than I had in the last week. 

I had a conversation with a friend this week who was asking about my challenge and what sort of regimen I was on.  I told her about the Weight Watchers and personal training, which we both agreed are not too much.  But when I told her how bad I had felt that week, she told me that she thought I was being too hard on myself.  Her suggestion is to finish this challenge with love and compassion for myself.  I could not agree more.  

My lesson is this - I started this challenge out of respect for my body, to give it health and strength back again.  I plan to continue this challenge respecting my body.  If I am tired, I will rest.  If I am hungry, I will eat.  If I have energy, I will exercise.  I will listen to my heart as it was my heart that got me here. And with love I will finish this challenge strong.  

Week 4: 189.4 lbs.

Week Three: Because I'm Happy

Feb. 15, 2015
 
Y'all, I have lost another five pounds this week.  I am down to 189 pounds, 10 pounds in two weeks.  When we saw my progress, my trainer yelped and I nearly jumped for joy.  I have gone down a percent in BMI (read about BMI here), that's huge in two weeks. I really felt as if this could be possible.  I could lose 30% of my body weight and win this challenge.  I could not be more thrilled so I started working and working and working during my sessions.  So much so that my max heart rate went down.  We had to reset my heart rate monitor with my new lower weight.  My heart was getting younger.  Yes folks, like Meryl Street and Goldie Hawn, I too have turned back the clock.

Though by the end of the week I started feeling a little more like this. (BTW, I so love Death Becomes Her, duh!)

   

By the end of the week I could barely lift a weight so I took it easy for the three days with lighter workouts. I even had a hot dog last night (Oops!).  Today when I went to my circuit training, I felt as strong as ever.  Maybe I won't lose as much weight this week but I felt it more important listen to my body.  And today I had my best workout ever.



I feel so great.  I feel strong.  I feel pretty. I feel healthy.  But most importantly, I feel happy.

I'll probably be showing off these sassy curves in no time.  I might live a couple years longer.  I definitely won't need to ask any man to help me carry a 50 pound bag of flour at work.  But most importantly my head is clearer than ever and I am winning on this pursuit to happiness.


Healthy recipes of the week:

Burnt Garlic and Broccoli

• 4heads broccoli (approx. 1 lb.)
• 1/2 cup slivered almonds
• 2 heads garlic
• smoked paprika
• 2 tbsp. olive oils
• salt and pepper to taste

Toss all together in a bowl.  On a sheet pan, roast for 18 minutes in the oven at 375 degrees.  The garlic should be nice brown and the broccoli should have crispy tips!

Lite Coconut Shrimp Curry

• 1 tsp. oil
• 4 scallions, whites and greens separated, chopped
• 1 tbsp. Thai red curry paste
• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• 1 lb. shrimp, peeled and deveined
• 6 oz. light coconut milk
• 2 tsp. fish sauce
• 1/4 cup fresh cilantro, chopped
• 1 bell pepper large dice
• 8 oz.cremini mushroom
• salt to taste

In a large nonstick skillet, heat oil on medium-high. Add mushrooms and peppers until soft. Add scallion whites and red curry paste and saute one minute. Add shrimp and garlic, season with salt and cook about 2-3 minutes. Add coconut milk, fish sauce and mix well. Simmer about 2-3 minutes, until shrimp is cooked through. Remove from heat, mix in scallion greens and cilantro. Serve over brown and enjoy!

Week Two: My BMI

Feb. 7, 2015

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUCCCCHHH!  

Yup, I need a donut right about now and I am not talking about the kind you eat (though I would KILL for one right now).  I am talking about the kind you sit on when your behind hurts.  Let's just say, I am now busting my ass.  Planks, TRX pull-ups, kettle ball swings, burpees, mountain climbers, rows, this list goes on!  All to melt away each pound of fat from my body and build muscle to replace it.  I am OK with this pain.  In fact, I love this pain.  It's the good kind.  And it's my pain that measures success.  Anyway, enough about how I feel, here are some facts.

BMI:

A BMI is a body mass index which is a person's weight in kilograms divided by the square of height in meter.  Right now my BMI is a 31.3.  A healthy BMI is 18.5-24.9. Overweight is a BMI of 25.5 - 29.  And obese is a BMI of 30+.   In diagram 1 my body mass probably looks like letter c.  Find out your BMI here.

Diagram 1: 

I am really looking forward to these bones carrying around less weight.  Each push-up is my vehicle to a healthier body.  My *hunger and cravings are lessening, my skin is clearing up, and I am sleeping better.  I can only imagine what I will feel like after 13 weeks.

Results:

After my first week I have gone from 199.4 pounds to 194.  I have lost 5.4 pounds, more than my 4 pounds per week goal. Woohoo!

*Interested in what I've been eating? For a delicious recipe, very similar to my dinner tonight, try this easy salmon cake recipe from Simple Nourished Living.